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Friday, May 23, 2014

An Explanation and (QUE ASOMBROSO!) a LIST

So as most of y'all know (since, basically no one but family ever reads this anyway) I am home from my mission on a permanent basis due to health issues.  BUT since I haven't updated recently, I think I shall tell you all in my extremely witty and clever way long winded and tending toward hyperbolic lists way what I was up to then and now.  Buckle up.

ON the Mission

  • My companion Sister Barley and I let off stress by singing (and let me tell you, she is an AMAZING singer).  One night we were in our classroom with a chronically broken and therefore open window.  We finished singing and started to walk back to our dorm so we could change for our excersise time.  We were stopped by a group of 6 elders who had sprinted up two flights of stairs to our classroom to thank us for singing because "you sounded like angels"  That was gratifying.
  • The discovery that the clip on name tags the Elders wear on their shirt pockets can be turned into strangely effective kazoos
  • Sister Barley's best friend (an Elder) was in the MTC at the same time and in the same place as I was.  This meant that his companion and I had no choice but to become friends.  It also meant I was given free license to make up a song about him and some particularly fantastic glasses that his family had sent him. (Think oversize Groucho Marx glasses with a blinky light up nose)
  • I got to see three of my best friends in the MTC (Ben, Sarah, and Nicole)
  • An Elder in my District in Ithaca told us about another Elder who was in his MTC district who would wake up his companion with an unhinged smile on his face and say "Good MORNING Elder!  It's a BEAUTIFUL day to be a missionary....I have to go to the bathroom; that means YOU DO TOO! :D :D :D" This is a lot funnier if told about in person.  Sorry.
  • New Person: So Musser and Ladd are your last names, right?
          Us being dutiful Sister Missionaries: Yep!
         New Person: So what are your first names?
         Me (deadpan):  We...we don't know.  They'll tell us after our missions
         After that Sister Musser handled all introductions
  • Long story short of other awesome/funny things
    • Sex obsessed octogenarians
    • Nicest little old lady in the universe teaching us to make pudding
    • Pao de quiejo
    • Making omelettes
    • Poisoning ourselves with gluten thanks to poor translation
    • Hunting for Panda (someone's lost cat)
    • People understanding my love for Doctor Who
    • ...and Harry Potter
    • ....and the Ithaca Bakery
    • The entire Maksymov family (seriously, I don't know how they pack that much awesome into 5 people)
    • Courtnie getting baptized
    • Indian food
    • Roger coming back to church
    • figuring out that neither of us knew how to work a snow shovel...or salt a driveway
    • Strep....AND laryngitis....AND pink eye....IN BOTH EYES (this was not me)
    • A woman who reminds me of a Bostonian version of my Aunt Jeanine
    • My DL's thinking dance (look down, breathe in, step back, cross legs. step forward, breathe out, hold...2...3, good, again!) 
    • Accidentally 'breaking' one of my Zone Leaders by saying exactly what I was thinking and being unintentionally funny
                    Me: Oh I see why praying out loud is important to focus your thoughts.  If you don't, you can easily start out praying for investigators and members and before you know it, you're praying for Hitler!
    • Sister Musser telling me that she was amazed that I was being sent home and that I was a good missionary.  Since I felt like a total failure, that was the best thing I had heard in weeks.
SINCE the Mission
  • People not being mean about me coming back (seriously, I don't think a single person has yet asked me if I regret going or what I did to get sent home!)
  • Not being as sad anymore
  • Getting a job at a podiatrist's office
  • Becoming my best friend's Maid of Honor
  • This experience going out with the Sister Missionaries:  We were trying to contact some former investigators, and stopped to talk to a Catholic guy who was working on his car.  The Sisters got a chance to introduce themselves, but I didn't.  At one point in the conversation he said something about all of us having nametags, but I figured he was just unobservant.  But then as we kept talking at one point he looked at where I used to wear my nametag and said "Nice to meet you, Sister Ladd."  (Again, I hadn't introduced myself at ALL, and if I had it would have been as Azya)  YAY for missionary work!

....I swear there's more, but I haven't been keeping as good a journal, so those are what come most readily to mind.  

Good talk, now break!