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Saturday, April 20, 2013

Search Me, Lord, and Know My Heart

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, look not at his countenance, nor on the height of his stature; for I, the Lord, have rejected him: for the Lord seeth not as a man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." -- 1 Samuel 16:7
 Guys, that was scripture mastery.  You SHOULD have it memorized.  (HINT.  HINT.)

Anyways, as finals week draws to a close for me (I am taking all of my finals in 2 days because I am a masochistic fool) I was thinking about a lot of things...not surprising considering I have the attention span of an ADD squirrel who just found something shiny.  Among those was (shocker) my upcoming mission.  While I may not have my call, or even have my papers in yet, I know that now is the time for me to allow the Lord to start shaping me to be a more perfect tool in his hand.  There is a lot of growth to get in to something like a few MONTHS instead of two more years that I have to have learned and prepared before my mission, and that mean (dun dun duuuuun) more trials!

This is a daunting prospect.  I mean, it's NOT usually a great idea to pray for more hardships in life, because while I doubt the Lord will ever give more than we can bear, the last time I did that, I ended up with Celiac Disease and physically not being able to go to school for all of third quarter! (From January to Mid April) my Junior year of High School.  So yeah.  Not doing THAT again!  I've come to accept the fact that the Lord knows what exactly will TRY me without BREAKING me (though sometimes it comes very very close to doing the latter!)

At least the Lord has practice with this.  I mean, I know we aren't supposed to compare ourselves, but I will in this case.  Look at Saul/Paul, BOTH sets of Almas, and the sons of Mosiah.  I think it is safe to say that I am NOT actively trying to destroy the church of God and while I am not perfect, I know I am far from being "the vilest of sinners."  But if the Lord could take these, the more rebellious (excluding Alma the Elder) of his children and mold them into tools that fit his hand, it stands to reason that he can do the same for me.

It won't be easy.  Nothing worthwhile ever is (goodness knows, my parents are SAINTS for putting up with me from ages 14 to about now!) but look at the rewards.  My parents have their first child serving a mission soon.  Paul and Alma received a remission of their sins (DONE! GONE!) And in the end, those who allow their will to be swallowed up in that of the Father (as well as they can; we are still human after all) will be able to more fully take advantage of the Atonement until that great and last day shall come and the Lord will say "Well done my good and faithful child.  Now enter into my kingdom."

Makes a few piffling trials now seem more doable, don't it?

You can do this!

Now back to studying for finals.  If you need me I will be hiding behind a pile of books frantically cramming every ounce of information I can into my sad little cranium.

Love always

Azya

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Knowing When...

There are a plethora of things that are important to know.

For example:
It is important to know that we have a living prophet upon the earth today (and we definitely just got to listen to him speak!)
It is important to know that our Savior lives and because of him, we can live once again.

It is important to know that families can be sealed together for all eternity. These two temples are REALLY important to me for that reason: The Mesa AZ temple where my Mother's parents were sealed more than 50 years ago, and the Jordan River UT temple where my parents were sealed (I THINK) 22 years ago, and going on 23 years this year (don't quote me on that).

It is immensely important (for me, right now) to know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and when I can serve a mission. (Because waiting to turn in my papers is KILLER)
Some day soon.
It's also important to know when you are beat and when to give up and throw in the towel. (Redundant phrase I know, but no less true.)